Holding the Both/And


 Hubby and I took a much-needed weekend away. After six months of living primarily within the same four walls, taking countless walks around our neighborhood, and putting few miles on the car, our cabin fever hit the limit.  So, we packed up and headed to the beach.  My happy place.  There's something about the expanse of water that soothes my soul.

My happy place.

And my trigger place.

We arrived last night at dinner time and ordered pizza for take-out.  Without consciously thinking about it, my brain started to plan on stopping to pick up drinks.  

Beach+Pizza=Need to Have a Drink

Or at least it did and has for the last 20 years.  Like a wave crashing over my head, the cravings washed over me.  They were powerful...embodied almost.  I could literally feel the yearning in my body.  Thankfully, I've been introduced to the concept of surfing the urge.  So rather than fight the craving or swallow the water of it, I surfed it.  As I surfed the urge, I noticed again how much I associate relaxation with drinking.  Even with all the intentional work of the last six months, my body still associates beach and booze.  And as this is my first time here, it's no wonder.  Can't lie, the night was not easy.  But I am very grateful I had my tonic and lime.  Grateful I surfed the urge and stayed sober.  Grateful I am making new memories, creating new pathways in my brain.  Grateful for time away to really relax.

Warm Wishes,

Sober Seeker

Comments

  1. SobrieTMarch 28, 2021 at 7:39 PM

    We both did hard things this weekend! Congratulations on surfing the urge and succeeding!

    ReplyDelete

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