Waking Up Sober

 One of my gifts has been seeing patterns--not so much with design or game--but with people.  I have a knack for anticipating the myriad of moves people would make.  The blessing of this is in allowing me to anticipate and plan.  These are assets in my day job.  Certainly, in running a home they're helpful to a point.  But here's the thing...I've hit this strength just a little too hard.   Turns out when you anticipate people's needs before  they recognize them and then control  the environment so they don't, it sets into motion a dynamic where the one doing the anticipating and controlling (aka people pleasing) is really being controlled. So how does this relate to drinking?  You may be wondering right about now. In my case, it has EVERYTHING to do with drinking.  Although I've been waking up to this reality for some time, this week both personally and professionally I see this pattern.  In my desire to be relational, I"m quick to meet you in the middle--w

 The last week has been rather uneventful externally. But internally, it feels like I'm shadow boxing.  Something seems like it awakened or ignited when I had the restaurant experience of --oh I just want comfort, not cabernet.  And then crossed the 6-month mark.  To be honest, I hadn't really been thinking about forever.  That seemed too much.  Too fast.  Too far.  But as I move closer to the year mark AND the world begins to open up, I find myself starting to ponder the f word...forEVER.  This means it really might be a break-up.   If this is a break-up--which is my current working metaphor--then I know I'm going to be grieving.  Well, it appears that I'm currently in the bargaining phase of grief.    What if's. How about's. Could it be's. If only's. Oh my Lord, it is exhausting.   Any wisdom from the peanut gallery welcome on this one...how do you move through bargaining without succumbing or becoming bitter or flopping over-exhausted? With you on the