Waking Up Sober

When I decided to go AF in the end of September 2020, it was to take a break .  Taking a break is a regular practice for me from wine to sugar to screen time, taking a break has been a consistent means of interrupting patterns and recalibrating.  That was my intention in September to interrupt and recalibrate. That was six months ago today. Six months?!?    The intentional pause has become more like a separation.  Much like separations in all relationships, the time away has allowed space and time to really ponder.  Even with all the science and quit lit. I've read, there's still a part of me that romanticizes date night and wine , family gatherings and wine , getting together with girlfriends and wine , hanging out with friends and wine .  I can vividly picture having a hard day or hard week and friends saying "let's meet up for a drink."  It was part and parcel of so many social connections pre-Pandemic.  In these six months, I have come t...

 When I started this blog two days ago, much of it was inspired by and in hopes of what Mrs. D, Sober Mummy, and UnPickled chronicle in their blogs.  How the blogosphere became a place for community.  So after debating...I decided to type my way in. Once I entered I realized that I had no idea how to connect with other bloggers.  When I google it--it all seems consumer driven. ARG!  I found myself screaming inside. WHY WHY WHY for the love of all that is holy must we commoditize things?  This is not to say that what I seek isn't there...just that the first two pages of Google were all about how to utlize blogs as marketing, how to make money off your blog, and how to insert yourself in the blog world all with the goals of 1.  getting known 2.  making money 3.  advancing an agenda for yourself My hope with this blog is to connect with others and have the warm experiences chronicled by others... Is it too late for that?  Has the blog bus l...

 My whole being feels exhausted...physically yes.  But there's a level of emotional, mental, and spiritual depletion as well.  Yesterday was *supposed* to be a gentle day where I gave myself room. And then--I had a tech issue with work that I needed to address.  I had some work that I told myself I *couldn't say no to* (I own my own business--so I'm my own mean boss) Add to that hubby and I have been working primarily from home together for one year with little other adult social interaction.  (I've been out for some work but he's been in our basement working virtually for a year). So needless to say, I get whatever unpleasantness has been stirred in him. Pre-alcohol free me--I was superb at managing all of this and calmly processing when he would take shit out on me/advocate for myself.  All very cool, calm, and collected.  Self-regulated if you will. Now--not so much. My energy level and capacity are less with work. And all my emotions come to the su...